It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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