New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I need to calm my uterus...
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
