Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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