So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
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