Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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