...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
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