remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
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