so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
please don't ironically join a cult
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