Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
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