How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
