I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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