apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Randomize
