i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
