Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
