And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
You ever have a fart follow you around?
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
