The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
