Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
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