either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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