Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
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