Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Randomize
