Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
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