I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
where am i from again
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
