The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
