New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
