it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
