Betty ford says i'm here all night
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Come share oat with me in your robe
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Randomize
