I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
We left an ass print on the piano.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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