I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
