yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Randomize
