Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Randomize
