Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
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