Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
