She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
