I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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