You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Randomize
