Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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