So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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