Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
