just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
how do flat chested girls get laid?
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
