Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
