Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
Randomize
