ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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