I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
