Can i not drive my cunt home
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
