this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
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