is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
he was CRYING into my vagina
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
