I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
