Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
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