drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Randomize
