So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
