So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
