we made out on top of his cat.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Im part way to drunk.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Randomize
